I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
