And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.