So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
