Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm both gender and math confused
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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