He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Found the puke drawer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't turn off my feet"
Randomize
