btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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