thus making me awesome and them whores
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
