I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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