i just wanna soil my oats bro
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
