this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
