I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
