i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
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They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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