Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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