I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
