her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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