im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
