everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize