You're my little dorito
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
