yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Life is so much better after having sex.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
