Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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