i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
