Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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