just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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