So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
