You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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