So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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