i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
