so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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