he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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