yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
