So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
