Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she smelled like a LAN party
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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