You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
