clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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