My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize