The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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