Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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