So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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