I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
