My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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