there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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