We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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