Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's blow job season.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need to calm my uterus...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
