On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
