I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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