Duck Duck Cougar?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize