White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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