it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
