My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
