did you get engaged???
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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