Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
