my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
