Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
