We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
